dreams

When was the last time you had something to dream deeply about?

Where your heart burns with excitement as you think about the possibilities and re-imagine your life in a way you never thought could truly be a reality?

Even simple dreams.

Maybe just a small shift of perspective in your life.

One habit to replace.

Or a new found passion to embrace.

Last summer, I began to devour books on simplicity, nutrition and homesteading.  All at once it seemed as if I could not get enough and was overwhelmed with all that I did not know (and thought I knew).  As I began to picture our family adopting a similar lifestyle, I had a dream and began to make plans and changes based upon it.  Then came a time where I didn’t completely lose interest, but I needed a break from the information.  A time for it to seep into who we are and see how it manifests in our lives.  A winter in which I could lay dormant until spring.  The passion may have come back from time to time, but mostly, I did things out of newly formed routines, and even with some things I went back to old habits, because the drive I once had was not there as fully as before.

My dream was still there, but I was no longer dreaming about it.

It had faded as real life settled in around me.

It seems that often our dreams tend to fade away with time.  As we grow, our pursuits and desires change; circumstances in life may be different.

How many of us grow up to be who we dream of as a young child?

And what happens when a dream hinges upon someone who is no longer there for one reason or another?

We may mourn the loss of that dream, and I believe it is good to do so.  Because the maybes and could-have-been’s will weigh us down so heavily that we may never be able to get up to see past them.

But then what?

If our dreams may never happen, does that mean we should no longer dream?

Some times the very dreams we think will never happen are just lingering in the background, waiting for us to be ready to pursue them.  And just maybe we actually have been pursuing them all the while, because the very reason we dream of them is that they are so intricately a part of who we are.

Very recently, my husband inspired me toward an old dream that had only ever seemed like maybe it could  perhaps happen, but much later on in life.  One of those, “Oh that would be amazing, but I could never do it” type of dreams.

Some times I would trick myself into believing it could be a part of who I am, so I would allow myself to learn more and feel passionate about it to an extent, but always left it at a very far off and safe place in the distance.

It has had a long winter to seep deep within my being.

And I can now see how it fits in with who we are becoming.  It is one of those possibilities that makes you feel alive and full when you think about it.  Something that now I think, “Why couldn’t I do it?  What is stopping me?” and suddenly the hard work and time that I will have to put into it seems feasible, because maybe this is who I am and the dream has not fully faded.

It could “come to nothing”, or at least, not what I am hoping for at the moment.

But.

I feel warmth.  Spring is coming.  And I am dreaming again.

How about you?

-b.e.

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One thought on “dreams

  1. I have some dreams that got a kick in the pants when my father died. I realized I don’t have all the time in the world, and indeed, you can wait too long. While there is accountability in voicing those dreams, sometimes the act of sharing one’s plans can stop the momentum. I find a little bit of secrecy helps. So I’m not asking what you’re up to, but know I’m delighted for you.

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