Some days, I feel as if there is a fog around me. I will breathe, think, move, respond, and talk, yet not feel fully aware of what is really going on. I miss the unspoken cues from my loved ones. I stop trying to understand what they are really saying. I am simply going through the motions of the everyday, focused only on myself.
My children probably suffer the most from this. Here they are with just me at home. Full of energy (does it ever stop?), joy, brightness, curiosity, words (oh, the words!), emotions, and eyes eager. What will the day bring?
When my son wakes up in the morning (no matter how early, it seems) he literally bounds out of bed the moment he opens his eyes, instantly awake. Not like my husband and I, who usually need a few snoozes on the alarm to fully wake up (and a cup of coffee most mornings, too). This tends to cause us to be less than enthusiastic when my son seems ready to run a triathlon upon waking.
When I am in the midst of a foggy rut, at some point, something will pierce through the fog and I will regain my focus. Many times I don’t think about it very much, I am just glad to be refocused and jump back into our family’s rhythm. But the other morning when I was feeling tired and sorry for myself, headed straight for a day blurred by a to-do list and my own agenda, my son woke up singing.
We all sleep up in a large loft bedroom, and his bed is within view of where I sleep. I opened my eyes and watched as he rolled out of bed, began to sing and walked toward me with his bright blue eyes and broad smile. It was pure light and joy.
Oh that I may wake up with a melody in my heart and share it with others. Because I wonder, how many aren’t seeing things clearly simply because they are stuck in the fog with no one to shine any light their direction?